How to defend yourself against the emotional harm caused by verbal aggression

How to defend yourself against the emotional harm
caused by verbal aggression.

Verbal aggression can be just as harmful as a physical
attack. The harm is emotional but the damage can
be just as severe.
Countless books on martial arts have been written,
describing a variety of very effective ways to
defend yourself against physical attacks. But for the
person subjected regularly to a verbal onslaught of
rude – and even crude - insulting, offensive
remark, very little advice is available.
Although verbal aggression leaves no physical scars,
there is no doubt that the mental and emotional
damage can be just as damaging. Malicious				How to defend yourself against the damage and
remarks made barely above a whisper can cause				harmful effects of verbal Aggression
a great deal of emotional harm.
No matter what form the verbal aggression takes,				Verbal aggression can be just as harmful as a physical
there is generally a common purpose – to make				attack, but there’s a simple way to defend
the victim feel small and inferior.				yourself.
The verbal aggression frequently continues over a
lengthy period. Very often victims are unable to				Countless books on martial arts have been written,
defend themselves because they are in some way				describing a variety of very effective ways to
dependant – perhaps financially - on the person				defend yourself against physical attacks. But for the
making the insulting remarks.				person subjected regularly to a verbal onslaught of
There are many instances where bullying supervisors				rude – and even crude - insulting, offensive
or managers continually subject employees to				remark, very little advice is available.
continual harsh and unwarranted criticism. The
employees feel powerless to do anything about the				Although verbal aggression leaves no physical scars,
situation for fear of losing their jobs.				there is no doubt that the mental and emotional
This verbal aggression can take place anywhere. It				damage can be just as damaging.
is just as common in the Board room at meetings of
Directors as it is on the factory floor. It also occurs				1. Malicious remarks can be made barely above a
frequently in homes.				whisper.
Here again the intention is always the same. It is a
mean and vindictive desire to inflict emotional pain.				No matter what form the verbal aggression takes,
When a child is subjected to continual teasing by				there is generally a common purpose – to make
someone physically bigger, stronger or older and feels				the victim feel small and inferior.
powerless to deal with the emotional bullying, the
usual advice given by a parent is to quote the idiom.				The verbal aggression frequently continues over a
“Sticks and stones can break your bones, but				lengthy period. This may be due to a number of
words will never hurt you”.				reasons. Very often victims are unable to defend
But words can definitely hurt. Very often the				themselves because they are in some way
emotional pain is far more severe than the physical				dependant – perhaps financially - on the person
pain				making the insulting remarks.
The sad part about this situation is that the pain you
suffer from verbal aggression is entirely				There are many instances where bullying supervisors
unnecessary. There is a simple technique you can				or managers continually subject employees to
use that makes any words, insults, or disparaging				continual harsh and unwarranted criticism. The
comments completely harmless.				employees feel powerless to do anything about the
It is a technique I trained myself to use a long time				situation for fear of losing their jobs.
ago and it is 100% effective.
This technique of completely ignoring comments you				This verbal aggression can take place anywhere. It
don’t want to hear – in effect assuming a				is just as common in the Board room at meetings of
state of “convenient deafness” - is not as				Directors as it is on the factory floor.
difficult to learn as you might think.
Let me give you details of this technique I learnt				1. Here again the intention is usually a mean and
many years ago. It has stood me very good stead				vindictive desire to inflict pain- in this case emotional
over the years.				pain.
I always found it remarkably effective, not only in
diffusing situations that could easily have become				1. They have not learnt how to use effective
nasty, had I responded to outbursts of uncontrolled				techniques.
bad temper, but also in enabling me to deal with
potentially difficult situations without being in any way				When a child is subjected to continual teasing by
stressed or upset.				someone physically bigger, stronger or older and feels
Whenever I was faced with a situation that involved				powerless to deal with the emotional bullying, the
a confrontation with someone who lost				usual advice given by a parent is to quote the idiom.
control,started shouting at me and began to make				“Sticks and stones can break your bones, but
insulting remarks, this is what I trained myself to do.				words will never hurt you”.
As soon as the aggressive person approached me
and started hurling insults at me,I would look at them				But, as everyone knows, words can definitely hurt.
with a slightly amused, puzzled smile. I would				Very often the emotional pain is far more severe
remain completely silent, not saying a word. I				than the physical pain – which is often only
behaved as if I didn't have any idea at all what the				temporary.
strange sounds coming from their mouths were
supposed to mean.				1. It also involves an ability to completely ignore the
The sounds were completely meaningless and				irritating, annoying, insulting, or offensive comments
unintelligible.				that are being made.
Then I would lift my hand. Slowly and deliberately
I would pull my ear.				This technique of completely ignoring comments you
This action gave me the power to switch off				don’t want to hear – in effect assuming a
completely and not listen to a word that was said to				state of “convenient deafness” - is not as
me. It became a meaningless, babble of unintelligible				difficult to learn as you might think.
sound.
Then I would start reciting to myself - silently - a little				Let me give you details of a technique I learnt many
verse I had made up especially for occasions like this.				years ago. It has stood me very good stead over
This is the verse I kept saying to myself, over and				the years.
over gain as the verbal aggression continued.
				I always found it remarkably effective, not only in
"Funny noises from your mouth				diffusing situations that could easily have become
				nasty, had I responded to outbursts of uncontrolled
I switch off and ignore				bad temper, but also in enabling me to deal with
				potentially difficult situations without being in any way
And focus my attention				stressed or upset.

On the movements of your jaw!"				Whenever I was faced with a situation that involved
I would concentrate on looking at the person's mouth				a confrontation with someone who lost control
and the movements of the jaw as if I was				started shouting at me and began to make insulting
competely fascinated.				remarks, this is what I trained myself to do.
These actions on my part, and the little verse I kept
repeating, made it easy for me to have "convenient
deafness". After a while it was quite obvious I				Then I would slowly lift my hand and touch my ear.
wasn't listening to a word directed at me.
The shouting suddenly stopped and the peson				Then, with the slightly amused, fixed smile, I would
stormed off in frustrated rage.				repeat the following little verse silently to myself as
I wasn't in any way stressed by the experience. It				the person ranted and raved. I would make no
had no harmful effect whatseover.				sound at all, but concentrate on the following words
Try this simple, but every effective technique. I				as I said them over and over again to myself.
guarantee it will work as well for you as it has
always worked for me. You can "switch off"				“Funny noises
without any effort at all. This gives you a				from your mouth
tremendous sense opf power.				I switch off
There are many ways you can control difficult				and ignore
situations and many different techniques you can				And focus my
use. Visit the following website where you'll find				attention
the subject of mind control and self-discipline is dealt				On the
with in great detail:				movements of your jaw!”

				Looking at actual movements of the jaw muscles
				with intense focus and concentration made it easy
				for me to “switch off completely”

				1. It was just a babble of incoherent noise.

				After a while it was quite obvious I wasn’t
				listening to anything that was being said; nor was it
				affecting me in any way.

				The shouting stopped and the person would storm
				away in frustration.

				I was not stressed, upset or disturbed in any way by
				the outburst.

				Try this simple but every effective technique
				whenever you are faced with any form of verbal
				aggression.

				1. The more you use it, the more proficient you’ll
				become. You’ll find it as useful as I have.

				There are many ways to deal with difficult
				situations. Most of them involve self-control and
				self-discipline.

Deaf Advocacy

How to defend yourself against the emotional harm caused by verbal aggression