Listening With Your Heart

My beautiful grand-daughter laying in her crib, crying.He would, days later, ask me about how something,
Crying was her way of saying something was wrong.that I talked to him about, was going. Was I really
There was no other way for her to tell us what washearing this right? Somebody really listened to what I
wrong, except to cry. Crying would get someonessaid. He actually remembered what I said and asked
attention and then her needs would be met.me about it?I felt important. I felt valued, but most
As time goes on we all learn how to communicateof all, I felt loved.
our wants and needs. If little brother is bothering usI grew up in a home that everyone talks and no one
we learn how to signal trouble for him. Or we learnlistens. Every person just talks over everyone else.
how to turn on the charm with grandpa to get thatTo this day, when we get together as a family, it is
ice cream we want.just a big noise of individuals talking, and talking loud,
Childhood to young adult. Little hearts desired. Thoseso as to be heard. I would just look around at this
same young people think those wants are reallychaotic disorder of words hurried into meaningless
needs.They insist on them and consider that this isspace and no one is hearing them, let alone
their right to have these possessions. I have seen itunderstanding them.
in my own family and I am sure many of you haveWell I quickly learned it was not easy to undo what
seen it in yours asyears of talking had done. I had to re-program
Regrettably we have grown up to consider that themyself and force myself to learn to listen. Now I
the human race owes me, and must listen to what Idon't mean just sitting still and being quiet and letting
am crying about. Hello! I grew up thinking this way. Itthe other person talk. If this was all it took, you
was a lengthy and challenging journey to understandmight as well talk to a wall. Walls will probably listen
that as long as I was forever talking, I wasn't hearingto you just as well as anybody else would. You have
what anyone else was saying. nor could I reply toto learn to hear and understand.... with your heart.
anyone. I was never going to understand and beYou heard the old saying. "God gave you two ears
mature if I didn't study the exceptional art of listeningand one mouth." That should tell you something.
with your heart.I have a business that I run. Now, I know a lot of
"The squeaky wheel gets the grease", that's whatpeople that do their business with their mouths, but
your thinking. Sad to say, most of the time that isthat is the old fashioned way. I do business with my
true. Sales people talk a lot. People that talk a lotears now. People buy from people that they trust.
move up the ladder quicker than anybody else. TheyWhen I found a friend that listened to me and took
step on everybody's toes to get wherever they arethe time to learn who I am, I trusted him. I liked him,
going and to be heard. They are forever running abecause he gave me something that no one else
hundred miles an hour, and never stop to smell theever did. He gave me his precious time and he
roses. It is not in their make-up.listened to me. He didn't say it with words, but with
But most of the people that I know that are like thishis heart he was saying, "Brian, you're important to
are never really happy. They struggle withme, and I care about you." For you business people,
relationships. Getting what they want andyou will get a lot more sales when you learn the skill
manipulating others always gets in the way of a trueof listening with your heart.
relationship. They are still in that babies crib crying forNot only will listening with your heart do wonders for
their needs to be met.your business, but wait till you try it at home. Your
Most people don't know how to listen. They proceedwife will think that you died and someone has taken
through the motions like they are listening, but theyover your body. Your kids will actually want to help
aren't. They are just looking for the opening exit outyou around the house. Because they will have found,
the door. I too was one of these people on this pathnot just a dad, but a dad who wants to take time
until I met a someone who truly listened to me. Thislistening to them. You'll make them feel important,
person became a very close friend of mine. He tookvalidated, and most of all... loved.
the time to stop what he was doing and listen to me.Try it. It won't be an easy transition, but with
I enjoyed our meetings. I mean he truly listened, andconstant work, you will nail it down and get really
he cared, he sincerely cared. I could tell, he was notgood at it. It will change your life.
faking it.